Hammer

AA Birthdays -- You all know what those are, I guess?

The annual celebration of the "last drink" or sort of like (in a holy roller Baptist sense), the A Fully Committed Born Again to the Program.

They have the Annual Chip, that goes in the Chip Window of the Big Book, etc., on and on. And most AA groups do birthday night once a month, for all the members who completed another year in the program . . . . without . . . relapsing. Without relapsing -- key point -- will get back to that in a minute.

Mrs. Hammer relapsed a few years back. After that, I expected we would do the start-over thing, and she would start working her way back up the years. No biggie, she was honest about the relapse, but secretly was heading into the Eating Disorder.

When I asked her about re-starting the Birthday stuff -- she became angry, and asked harshly if I, "was questioning her sobriety?" While I had no idea what that meant, if I had do-overs, I would have to say -- Oh Hell Yes!

I asked her if her sponsor said she should start over, she said that the sponsor said she did not.

THAT was a Lie.

I came to find out the Sponsor told her to "Start Counting Days," after the relapse -- AA slang for getting a 23 hour chip, and building back up the weeks, months, and back to years. This came up as part of the Sponsor teaching me Eating Disorder information prior to Mrs. Hammer going to rehab last year. I was shocked and surprised that the Chip stuff was now a lie, but also confused on what I should do. So I did nothing.

Mrs. Hammer went to Rehab, came back whacked out her mind, like we have talked about before, and when her AA Birthday came in January last year (tomorrow, as now) . . . By that point Crazy Lying was the daily thing, and since we had sort of celebrated Mrs. Hammer's AA Birthday in the past as an event, Daughter and I went and got Mrs. Hammer a big bouquet of Yellow Roses -- one for each year as if the Relapse never happened.

Mrs. Hammer only sneered and said it was only for show. Figured she was still sort of whacky, but then at the end of last January she "dis-invited" me to the AA Birthday night -- as one of her Gossip Girls who was presenting her Chip and "was very mad at me." (mad at ME, Hammer). Did not make much sense, as I barely know these people -- but now have found out she was/is telling them massive lies about how bad I am supposed to be or something.

Anyway -- this year -- Have gotten VERY familiar with all the Crazy, Lies, and all the rest. And can FULLY Understand WHY Mrs. Hammer is a Dry Drunk -- She cannot be honest. Her entire program is a Lie. Chip Date and All. So I asked daughter what she wanted to do about mom's AA Birthday this year. Daughter said, "Nothing." Not that she did not say anything, but rather that we should just ignore the crazy and do nothing.

Dunno. So I guess that is what we will do. Pretend that what is not real is really not real.