Welcome to this place, it's nice to have you here.
My defense, is to think of that first drink and where it'll lead me. The remorse, guilt and anxiety that all await me.
I would have the same prblem as you; after a few days sobe, looking better, feeling better and hey, one drink won't hurt. Only probrlem is, I've never had one in my life. It's all or nothing for me. Which, of course, led to another binge.
You'll find a lot of support here and best to you.