I am tired of this cycle and told him I was not willing to spend another year like last year. He had a few sober periods the longest being three weeks and everyone including him noticed the positive difference in him. My last words were u can shove it up your arse because I deserve better. Im usually very patient and understanding but hes pushed me too far. I can't go back unless I see with my own eyes hes committed to staying sober and is committed to putting our relationship first.