Welcome, Charlie. You mentioned covering for your "best friend" - the day I decided to quit I realized that alcohol was playing the role of a relationship, a bad, abusive relationship. Thinking of it in those terms empowers me and has helped to get me to 3 months of sobriety. I can't say it's been completely easy, but I can tell you that I feel like a new person, a good person, a worthy person and you will too. Wait until you start dreaming again (who knew!??)! SR is here for you! In my experience, you'll be hard-pressed to find a more supportive, compassionate, understanding, smart group of people.