It's been a while since I posted anything, but lately I've felt like I needed a little guidance, or maybe a little reassurance, and came back here.
XAH and I have been divorced since July. He quit his job in June before the divorce was final, but agreed to the child support amount in our settlement (true A mentality) and was going to work for his dad while looking for a job. You can imagine how hard he's been looking for a job, and the working for his dad lasted exactly one month.
He hasn't exercised his visitation rights (not that I'm complaining), hasn't helped out on medical expenses or activity fees, makes promises to our 4 boys that he doesn't fulfill, and is just plain crazy to deal with. . .but I haven't felt such peace in years at home. Sometimes I wonder how I survived that life of chaos for 13 years, and some times I feel sad for my children for having to endure the emotional pain of having a deadbeat dad because of my own poor choices. But the kids have a stable home and are having such successful years in school. The best compliment you can receive as a parent after a life-changing decision to divorce an A - having someone tell you your child is like a whole new person.
I guess the reassurance I'm looking for has to deal with XAH and our child support situation. When I made the decision to separate, I was prepared financially to do this on my own. In the meantime, since XAH has quit his job and realized he cannot pay the agreed-upon child support, we are going through the courts to come to a new agreement, but we keep going back every 60 days, XAH doesn't have a job, and they give him more time to find one before it is recalculated. When does this end? He is the one who is pushing this, but I just want to be done with this. How long can they drag this out, and give him continued chances? I guess I'm just frustrated. He hasn't fulfilled a single aspect of our divorce decree when it comes to the children. Any advice?