I agree with some of what you have said. I have taken a different approach in that I quit drinking but do the same things I love to do. Instead of drinking alcohol, I drink fruit juice. Ex. Play pool, play poker, go to hockey games, go to comedy clubs, pay board games, watch sports at bars. Its taken me years to realize that the best way to learn to say no is to go out and do it everyday. I have the strength but it wasn't until I was ready to quit that I got it. Locking yourself away just makes it that much harder when its in your face. You have to learn to say no and you don't learn that sitting in a room alone.