Originally Posted by
karate 
I'm not about , co existence with it in peace .
I'm going to grab it by the back of the head , and break its neck .
I guess my idea is not for everyone , but anything that has given me those problems -is my enemy , an enemy capable of killing me .
It needs to be taken serious and be angry at the stuff .
I'm mad at it for all the trouble it caused me .
Since alcoholism and sobriety are both inside jobs, you'll be sorely pressed to "grab it by the back of the head and break its neck" no matter how angry you may become.
There really is nothing substantial to fight against without you inventing a created something for yourself, and therein lies the danger of you being your own worse enemy. I think we need to be honest here about your back story when you posted that when you drank you always got ugly mean:
Originally Posted by
karate I'm a mean drunk , I'll fight with anyone . And to whatever level they decide to take it to .
When I was drinking , I have be confronted with guns , I had no fear ,
Only blind rage and anger .
At the time I was drinking , I had anger problems also .
I'm sicker than most here .
I can be a lunatic sober , drinking turns off the part of my brain that says STOP
So I don't agree it's a 100% personality change , but it let out 100%
Of my bad traits .
I'd jump on a grizzly bear drunk , and at that time I'd swear I could kill him
Bare handed .
To summirize - it turns off all my inhibations .
They say a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts .
If I hate you drunk , I'll hate you sober too , but you are psysically safe if I'm sober
If I'm drunk , better get yourself a gun and shoot me .
I feel blessed God allowed me to get through it , without going to prison .
You know, it doesn't take a lot of thinking to see the writing on the wall here, its as plain as day. Alcohol itself doesn't contain anger in a bottle, and so for you its important to understand the anger comes from within you, and not from the bottle. You're an angry guy already enough without creating more drama for yourself is my suggestion, Karate. I also suggest you don't believe that since your sober today, that all that anger can't be reached unless your drinking.
Its not easy to face our tougher emotions when first becoming sober, but there is nothing for it but to just do our best with what we got when we make the changes to keep sober. Getting all over-the-top angry about anything is not a smart play drunk or sober. For anybody.