Can't enforce boundaries
Hi All, thanks for the responses.
After i posted this, again i am new, I realized it was in the alcohol board.
Im in this because I was lied and manipulated and sucked into a relationship, in addiction they call it "seduction:" It was never clear TO ME she was married for a fact for 6 months, then its this other states common law thing where it was not what my upbringing considers marriage.
ALanon, where i live has horrible men support (im a guy). Most are living with abusive relationships and justifying it cause of kids, cause of whatever.
Instead of blaming the alocholic as one of you wrote, YES i was getting confusing messages, from alanon men, kinda like yours did >>>pointing the finger at me.
Anyway, Im the single guy, the girl shows up in my driveway, any guy would have invited Mary Poppins in with a bottle of sake. Im not here to defend myself, THIS IS WHAT ADDICTS DO>>>lie, seduce, manipulate, control.
My header was about experience in enforcing boundaries. NO contact, is a huge boundary, has anybody had experience into their own mindset, enforcing no contact, how they got there?
Im finding that its at the poiint that every text, every missed call i ignor, upsets me. Also something i tried to put a stop to this week, she was calling a local guy friend of ours, to see "where i was" or if i was "ok". this is classic addict behavior.
So in confronting him, to stop meddling, (he's alcoholic), at least THAT part of the equation is dead.
Any of you dealt with a heroin addict that drinks? or a similar situation where the abuser "keeps coming back"?
Thanks again.