Thanks for all the insight and wisdom. Sobriety is new to me. Buddhism on an intellectual level is not. Practicing mindfulness seems a logical route, and I immediately found myself reading "The Mindfulness Workbook for Addiction" (Williams and Kraft). Very practical.
They liken emotions to a pesky dog nipping at your heals, but the answer, they say, is to embrace the dog. This is much like Kapala practice and the idea of feeding your demons. "Feed Your Demons" is a book on the subject.
The question for me here is whether the demon is alcohol (or other addictions) or the feelings I'm trying to avoid. In other words, is the craving purely physical - a reaction to the body wanting a substance? Or is the craving psychological - a symptom of the desire to avoid certain thoughts or emotions?
I think with drugs like alcohol, heroin, and others, the craving is both physical and psychological. Physical because of tolerance and dependency, and psychological because of the root causes of using to the point of addiction in the first place.
I was involved in a Hakomi duality ritual many years ago. It was a dance exercise wherein participants "became" one concept, and then the opposite; disease and health, sadness and joy... When we got to the anger/acceptance part of the exercise, I scared myself and others. When I "became" and danced anger, I danced violently and I was loud. When I tried to flip it and "become" acceptance, I sobbed because I could not achieve a state of acceptance. To make things worse, I was chastised and ostracized by the group during debriefing. I remained in my sacred space and was no threat to anyone, but they didn't like that I threw myself fully into the anger exercise.
See there I was, a young adult child of an alcoholic who had been taught not to feel, being shunned because I allowed myself to do so - in the context of a ritual designed for this very purpose. I got the sense I was not wanted there and never returned, and I wasn't happy about it at the time, but in retrospect the experience spoke volumes.
I'm still angry. I've never assaulted anyone. I've tried to avoid that demon. I'm now embracing it - feeding it - and hoping this will help relieve my cravings. I think I know why I'm angry, but I don't like the feeling. Love thy enemy, right? Can I love my anger? Learn to be gentle with it and with myself?