I am so glad you posted up!! Just this morning I went and searched out your user name to check and see when your last activity was because I was concerned.
Holidays are rough. We all have good days and bad days. I sometimes waver back and forth on my resolve and determination on an hourly basis. I haven't been able to get to my counselor either. First I had the flu, then the holidays and now she is booked until the end of January. It is hard when you don't have that support or a person that you trust to discuss situations with or to give you validation.
Stay strong. Keep posting. We are here for you if you need us!