Hi Bobby,
I agree with what has already been said--particularly that the nurse that was less than amazing may want to reevaluate her career choice.
That said, I have felt as you do. I have been in the hospital about 6 times as a result of alcohol, prescription drugs and depression. I never thought to leave a note and that disturbed me and haunted me for a long time. But then I realized I was not okay. I was under the influence of prescription drugs and alcohol. I am no longer ashamed of my behavior. But I am trying to do all I can to ensure there are no other incidents like those.
The only thing you can do it to forgive yourself. You are dealing with things remarkably well it sounds. I'm sure your friends and family are just thankful you are safe and healthy now.
