Oh yes, it's mental abuse and I don't see a way back from it. But the heart can't help but wish for miracles. I really don't think it's up to me anyway. It's my belief that if he comes back, it won't be to reconcile, it'll be to get his things and leave again. I just hope I have time to get him to sign a power of attorney so I can handle the wreckage. In addition to seeing a therapist this week, I'm also seeing an attorney.
Thanks for all the comments and support. I will look for al-anon in my area, although I looked before Christmas and it didn't look like there was much in my area.