Thank you all. GypsyHeart, your post really spoke to me a lot. I am realizing I am terrified of being lonely and so worried what others thing about me, and these are very new realizations. But I think I need some serious self-care and sober time under my belt and need to stop trying to fit into the mold of my life so far... I am also genuinely seeking out help for a number of things for the first time in my life and feel less guarded about doing so than I have in the past. But it is definitely very scary and emotional for me right now. I really appreciate all the support here.