Hopelessness...
Things got wickedly bad for me last year. Despite not having anything horrible happen (by comparison) in the last two days of drinking, I am feeling completely lost and hopeless. A few minutes ago, I texted my husband and asked him if we're going to make it through this. After I sent it, I thought, what's the alternative? Dying?? I don't think that's what I meant, but really, short of dying, we will get through whatever comes our way because it's not like time is just going to stop, right? But I'm scared for my kids, I'm scared about our finances, I'm scared about selling our house, I'm scared that we won't sell our house, I'm scared about my daycare options, I'm scared my husband will never go back to work... I feel like my heart is in a vice, that I'm not doing enough, that I'm not good enough, that I will never be able to give my kids the life that I want them to have.
I'm afraid that I'm destined to be a loser.
I know, self-pity isn't going to get me anywhere. I'm just so overwhelmed. Please, someone out there, tell me this feeling goes away.