My AH also does not identify himself as an alcoholic either, Sarrah. It's just how he unwinds, celebrates his victories, mourns his losses, hangs out with his buddies, watches the game, relaxes with the cats, handles me & my expectations (which admittedly I have too high of expectations), handles my crazy family, handles his crazy family, de-stresses from work, watches tv, eats his dinner, & falls asleep. I'm sure I missed some of the other important events that require alcohol but my fingers were getting tired of typing
In the end, I've decided it does not matter what he calls it. It doesn't matter if he is an alcoholic (though the alternative is that he's willing choosing to drink despite all of the negative consequences when he could just choose to
stop.) In the end, all that matters is that it is negatively impacting me and my children. Now, I have to choose what I want. Because that's all I can do, choose what's best for me.
I second Carry-on's recommendation for
Al-Anon. I've also been doing a lot of reading, both here at SR and various books. Counseling's helping me, too. I'm sorry you have to be here, but I'm glad you found us
