We hear what we want
I got a text last night about 8pm. A number I don't recognize and not programmed in my phone.
It reads:
"Good evening to you. I'm at a funeral of a coworker 32 years old. In this life we just don't know. So I'm saying to you, I love you! Be blessed always."
I spent yesterday with my head under the covers. A result of a visit to my past over the holiday and my underestimating the impact. I thought I am not going to drink because of it. I will wait it out with food, movies, cats and covers. Didn't take the sadness away but it did make it so there was no bartender with me.
I got angry when I got this message. I thought who the hell would say that to someone they don't know well enough to be programmed into the phone. That not for me. I don't feel very lovable at this moment.
I felt really bad I had to text this person that thanks for loving me but who are you again?
They text back after awhile. I almost just deleted the reply but I read it. It was someone I have had some deep and good conversations with when at the local bar in New York. A godly and kind person.
I deleted his number since A I didn't drink anymore and B I don't live in New York anymore.
I want to dismiss the note. But sometimes we need to hear what we need to hear.
If it were anyone else I would think they were sadly misguided. But this person. If any higher power was going to nudge me to get my arse out of bed it would be him. Only him.
I slept so well last night. Even after a day of sleeping.
I woke with such a deep sense of relaxation and being well rested. My mood lifted and I am excited for my day.
Here is to letting the sadness go. The past be what it is since I can't change it. And to messages of unexpected consequences when I needed it most.
Today I am getting a massage... One I put off yesterday. Going to a movie... One at a cinema and not in my bedroom.
Open your mind to what comes your way. Sometimes it's what you hear and not what's being said.
K