Hi twin Babs, sorry that was a wee tough moment, glad to hear your sense of humour.
Folks, i've deliberated about the next few lines: do I write it here, do I post it in newcomers, do I write it in my journal, do I not write it at all.
My maine concerns about you guys is that, thre's been a lot of emotion recently, then very up beats......I'm concerned I bring it down again
The newcomers; I don't know and as much as i'd value their words, prob not quite in the same way
Regards to keeping it in myself or writing a journal entry. I tried that last night.........but i've been awake all night, and still thinking.
Please allow me to share something that happened yesterday, nothing bad.....to me.
As you may know, i'm an emergency nurse and have started working a few clinical shifts again over the hols as don't do that many these days and good to catch u pom clinical while on leave.
Please bear with me this is long, i'll try to keep it short:
- Patient # 1: young alcoholic female, several detox and rehab admissions. Superficial slice marks to wrist, blowing 0.28: Plan, sober up, Psych r/v and home.
I entered the room, she was still under security watch as sectioned. We had a good old chat. We spoke about why she was here, prev rehabs, successions/failures. I believed in this girl so much. As part of my job I required her to describe physical symptoms she was presently feeling! DING DING DING, I could have written her speech myself. She described to me how much she wanted to stop on Christmas Eve, she's had prior seizures and couldn't find a doctor, she then tried to taper herself with just beer or two to prevent seizures. Full insight, sen by psych then sent offered temp supply of valium ( 2 days) asked if she could go to the toilet, then, vanished..........what to do?!!
Patient #2 Late 60's Diarrhoea for 1 weak. Arrived with husband. Lovely lady, fully insightful but if anything seemed a little anxious. All tests proved nothing sinister, given a few take home meds and guided on her way who throughout this whole interview session had seemed extremely articulate but quite, but words in where words due, he seemed the more capable one. Trama call bout 3 hours later. They had walked hand in hand across a level crossing, witnesses saying he was in front, her dragging behind. Who knows what happens yet, he's in ICU, she's RIP.
Patient #3. 58 year old with husband by side, had done rounds of Chemo since July, Mastectomy in Aug, Radiotherapy in Nov and after a lovely Christmas lunch and a couple ays of feeling awful presented with acute shortness of breath. After X-rays, etc, the senior head oncologist stormed down to her cubicle, closing the doors, inviting no clinical staff other than students to witness him tell this poor woman, she was riddled and they'd start scans immediately but prob wouldn't see past the first week in Jan.....he then walked back out the room and he shouted to a resident, "okay, who's next"! He didn't communicate with any of us on the floor, including myself as the principal carer, how foolish did I feel walking into the room talking about tea and coffee and the time of day! She took it well and we all had a cry together.
I obviously had many more than three patients today, but these for me are the ones who stand out. It brings me back to selfishness and the whole 'disease' phenomenon. This is not something I want to bring up for debate believe me, but, deep down I do have a control of this as did my first patient, but everything she said was just ringing alarm bells. My later two patients; what choice did they have, they were just dealt a bad deal.
# 2 patients husband turned out to have severe alzheimers, we didn't even pick it up and she was covering up, making up for her own symptoms, crying for help!
I make no apologies for this post (i'm not allowed to) but please excuse me for lowering the mood, i've few friends left to speak all this through with, many of this mornings staff left without a word, dealing with their own thoughts, hence, I brought it here. Thank you for listening