I admire your strength. You are both going through a stressful time emotionally, and also physically, for you. All you can do is let him know what you need, but don't expect him to be able to give it right now.
Being codependent doesn't make you any less of a strong, educated, successful woman. It's probably just best for you to focus on your own healing now. It's great that you're going to couples counseling. Maybe it will help open the lines of communication between you and your husband and you can both start giving each other more of what you need.
Wishing you much love and quick healing.