It feels like I have two sides fighting eachother inside me. Like a demon whispering in one ear and an angle in the other. I know that if I drink I will wake up ashamed and feeling horrible about myself and have ruined everything I have struggled through the past few days. The addict in me is trying to make excuses and manipulating me to feel like since I was good for a few days I can drink tonight. I feel like I'm the third person looking at myself from the outside.
I have decided that tonight I will not drink for my son. If I can't do it for myself I will do it for him. If that's what it takes for me to make it through tonight I'll take it. I'm not sure if it's the right way, but I can't listen to this noise in my head.