Hang in there, Autan. Lot's of good advice so far on this thread. Also try to remember how much the AV romaticizes the first drink, it tells us how great it will be and all that. Then the second we take the drink, BAM, the AV abandons us. Where is the romance after the third drink, fourth. . .where is it when our head is pounding and we're hugging the toilet? You are strong and you want to be sober. ANd we want you sober too!