We admitted that we were powerless over the addict--that our lives had become unmanageable.
That's Step One. It's one little step toward gaining control of your life again.
My home is my Serenity Zone. Trying to control an active addict living in my home is simply not possible......it disrupts the one place I should feel safe, secure, and happy. But I also understand the unbridled fear that you are feeling....the shame.....the worry......the guilt.....and the pressure to do "the right thing". I understand the concern of being judged by people who have strong opinions on what you should do.
But we are not unlike the addict. When you get between an addict and their drug of choice...you become the enemy. Our addicted children ARE our drug of choice. Is that twisted? Yes.....it is.
It takes a lot of courage to change ourselves and I couldn't do it alone. Bigsombrero is right....a plan is important.....for you. Others are right too......a plan can't be well executed in a vacuum.
Remember the line....."never let them see you sweat". That's very important when dealing with active addiction. As soon as they see a ***** in the armor, they'll go for it. Every time you let your daughters see the hurt look on your face, you yell back, etc., they know they've "got you" where they need you to be in order for their addiction to thrive. Never let them see you sweat.
Get help. Yes...your church. Your pastor. A therapist. Nar-Anon. Your physician. All of the above. Anything......but start taking care of you TODAY.
Right now.....the inmates are running the prison and you're trapped in there with them.
Much love and gentle hugs
ke