I accepted alot of the blame in my failed relationship as well due to my drinking. I mean the fact is, I did put that poor woman through alot of hell. When I was in IOP and a similar issue came up, our "doctor" said people that behaved negatively toward us were doing what we taught them. And I agree with that to a certain extent, I mean my wife was untrusting of me too, but I lied to her alot. However, the volatile explosive temper and her control issues I dont feel like I deserve any responsibility for other than for hooking up with her because I was drunk and I shouldn't have. Before your next argument though, I want to share something here my sponsor told me tonight. You can't wrestle a pig and not get dirty. Throwing that out because if she's like my wife, fighting and arguing is what she wants. Hard to be around someone like that and work a real program of recovery. At least I couldn't.