Allforcnm had a really, really thoughtful interesting reply, and I want to respond to it bit by bit. So, first of all, thank you for the reply.
And with that...
Based on what you have posted here about her texting; if I recall once it was a picture of her broken ankle taken in the ER, then months later a wedding photo that is basically generic after a wedding... unless there is a lot more contact your not sharing, it doesn't sound like she is all that obsessed with you. But each time you get one of these texts you become drawn back into speculating on what her intentions are, what this says about her drug recovery, what this says about her issues with bipolar, what this says about the status of her marriage, and her current feelings for you....Unless there is a lot more info here... it seems like all you can do is speculate on what it all means.
My AXGF is not Bipolar. She's a Borderline Personality. There is quite a difference between the two. I do not care about the status of her marriage. Nor do I care about her feelings for me. What I do care about is my physical and emotional safety.
My therapist would probably ask me why? Why after 2 years of breaking up with a boyfriend, do I get drawn in to all of this in my own mind. Why do I create the answers that I do .... Is there a part of me that needs to believe he is still a drug addict, still unstable from his bipolar, still wanting me, meaning he is in an unhappy marriage? Do these thoughts reinforce something I currently need emotionally? And etc...
The short answer is given her behavior in the past, she is capable of creating a dangerous situation for me, in terms of my physical safety, emotional safety, and my professional life.
She has done so in the past. There are things I can't discuss freely on a forum such as this due to the nature of my employment.
I don't expect you to answer these questions but I'm just saying these are questions I would be asking myself.
And they're fair questions.
Why not assume other options- you are included in a group she has set up and every so often she uses it to text. Both the texts you shared could be sent to pretty much anyone ... Friends, coworkers.
If it were part of a group text, other phone numbers would appear on the text. The only one that is present is her current phone number. And the last text she sent last week was directed towards me and me alone.
Why not assume in her way she is trying to say she is fine and happy, and since she was on drugs at the time of the breakup and mentally unstable maybe she still in some odd way thinks of you as a distant friend, OR even if she is doing it to rub it in your wounds - that's her issue not yours.
This is false. She was not using at the time we broke up. She does not think of me as a distant friend. Nor does she think of me with any sort of warmth or positive regard. She thinks of me as a target. This is what people with character disorders do: they try to make you feel the anger and emptiness
they feel. Her sole intent is to cause harm. And this view is shared by my clinician
who also knows her.
Put the focus back on you; work on letting go of the relationship, the pain and anger- it's so palpable in your posts. I hope you find peace soon.
It's not pain. Her betrayal of me no longer bothers me, and the reason why that is is she's pathologically sick and I can't personalize what she did to me because she's done the same to other people.
But, yes, I'm angry. And I'm angry because of reasons I alluded to above and cannot discuss freely.
Thank you again for the response.
ZoSo