Zoey,
Zoso gave you some very good advise and suggestions. It was my exah that brought me to SR a few years back and I can really relate to the hurt and turmoil you are in right now. Blaming having problems in a marriage for an excuse to use is BS....you know that, I know that, we all know that! We all know that is a typical quack from an addict! His family is quacking too and I think it pretty much goes hand in hand, so don't believe or take to heart any of the garbage they have to say, its hard not to react to such off the wall gabber but they feed off it when we do. Hopefully you can distance yourself from them all, surround yourself with the love of your family and friends.
As Zoso said, go see a lawyer get some legal advise...Protect yourself! Very important!
Rose