Hi readerbaby. I too think this is a hard time of year. When it is dark when I walk out of work I too just want to go home and go to bed. But I don't.
I am so sorry that a day you had planned on being good did not work out that way. It sounds like he is trying. Rehab (if it is a good one) will help him deal with the feelings of self loathing he has. Addiction is very self absorbing. Does he go to a counselor of any type? They too would help him work on this feelings. I am the poster child for therapy. I believe there are very few individuals in life who would not benefit in some way.
I have always had the belief that a couple should not live together when a person has just left rehab. I think a significant time apart gives him time to figure out who he is and gives you time to work on you. If he is unhappy with his sponsor or his program he is in charge of that. Find a new one. Try Celebrate Recovery if he does not like AA (I recommend CR for anyone, it has saved my life). I think with all of the programs out there it is all about finding a group of people who you click with. If it is not one, try another.
Gentle hugs to you. Keep posting, we will walk this walk together.