I am also dealing with tremendous guilt & I am only making my escape plan. My ABF hhas not been physical but emotionally I am dying. I am walking on eggshells, have alienated my family & friends. He ruined my Thanksgiving this year& embarrassed me in front of 20 people. I decided that night I had to go. Now I know I have to but that doesnt make it anyy less painful. I care for him & sober he is a hard working great guy. Unfortunately hee is an alcoholic & has to want to stop & doesn't want to. I know all to well that I can't stop this. It will be better alone & peaceful. I am reading all of the stories of strength & they help. Its good to know there is a place wwhere others understand. Sending peeace & Love