Hi Jayne04,
Thank you for your comments. You made a great point about the power of denial. I do think my wife was in denial up until right after we got married. As I've been thinking about it, I'm not angry at her. She has a disease and a monkey on her back that I wouldn't wish on anyone. But in the course of her overall denial about the severity of what was going on, there were 1000s of little lies that add up.
I did call her therapist at the recovery center and told her my intentions. They said she's going through detox and still has a lot of denial and asked me to wait at least a week before telling her about wanting a divorce. But the therapist said she definitely thinks I should tell her while she is in rehab so they can support her as she absorbs the blow.