FWIW, I think it is best to stay out of it in terms of the emotional game-playing. That's what he wants. It appears as though he is trying to scare you into rethinking your decision to separate.
Now, I'm not suggesting you stay out of the financial business of it. You have every right to know where the money is coming from, how much, when and where it is going. It's going to be very difficult, but try to stay in the "business" mindset and avoid the emotional traps he is setting.
You will be fine. I know you may have a hard time believing it, but believing it is a must. Difficult times haven't killed me yet, lol. And remember, sometimes the things we put ourselves through in order to avoid discomfort are actually worse than the discomfort itself.
Cheering you on!
L