The alcoholic, divorce, and spousal support
I'm stopping back by here because this is the only place I know of where I might get some input on this issue.
My AH and I are in the final stages of a divorce settlement agreement. It's a marriage of long duration in which I was a full-time mom for 15 years. We are both now working FT at the company we co-own (I had to take over control because he was running it into the ground). So there is some guarantee of employment as long as the company is solvent, and AH continues doing his job. But the damage done to our company by my AH could cause us to have to close the company at the end of 2014 and leave both of us looking for work. I am confident I can get some sort of job, but AH is a real question mark. It is known in our industry that he is a boozer.
The issue is that, while my AH is definitely on the hook to provide me with spousal support in the future (which will likely never happen), in California the law provides for ME to be obligated to provide him with spousal support should he be unable to work, with no clear termination date. To further rub salt in the wound, the courts view an alcoholic as a person with a disease, and are more likely to award him spousal support than a non-alcoholic if he has health issues or an injury or other incapacity (unfair, I know). This is the opinion of the FIVE attorneys I have now consulted with.
I'm very, very concerned about this liability since he's an alcoholic and we all know it's progressive. I have an opportunity to try to get him to waive his right to collect spousal support from me --- but it will cost me a huge amount of money and most of my settlement. Right now I'm trying to figure out how much it would be worth to get myself out of this obligation. It's a gamble since I don't know what the future holds. My AH is currently what would be termed a "functioning alcoholic" but I know it's progressive.
To those out there who have divorced an alcoholic, what has been your experience with them eventually being unable/unwilling to work and/or you having to pay them spousal support? Do I pull out all the stops (as in, pay him hundreds of thousands of dollars, leaving me with no savings) to try to get out from under a future obligation to pay him alimony? Or do I keep the money and wait and see what the future holds? There are many avenues of legal wrangling and the court won't make me pay him if he's just sitting at home drinking, but as alcoholism is linked to health issues not normally assocated with drinking (cancer, GI issues, falls down stairs) I'm VERY paranoid he'll develop some random health issue and go after me to support him.
And I'll just take this opportunity to say how much I hate drunks.
Thanks for reading.