My XRAH and I did a "trial separation"..while he went through an 18 month out patient chemical dep. program. 12 months in he started an affair. I don't know if that would have happened regardless...I know my husband is not a man who can be alone..he was miserable and desperate about being alone and I think that contributed. I was angry and did not trust that he was going to really get sober, he had said it many times before. If I could do it over again I would have stayed while he did the program and waited to see what was going to happen. He has almost 4 years sober now but does not do his program anymore and is not a happy person. he is still with the person he started the affair with and we are now divorced. Hind sight is 20/20 they say...but I really feel now that no marriage can improve while you are living separately unless you are actively pursuing counceling together and have a very clear plan in place.