I agree with zoso....learn about the disease through your reading alanon/naranon etc.
You really do have a one sided relationship with an active addict. I know with both of my young adult children and my husband..now in recovery.
Perhaps, since your fathers alcoholism is something you grew up with....that is what you know or your normal?? Are you getting your needs met? Are you trying to help him over and over with the same results?
So glad that you are here for support. We all need it!