Yes, my state will grant legal separations. Distribution of joint property would also be 50/50 except for property acquired before the marriage or through inheritance/gift. The equity in our home is primarily due to inheritance funds that I received prior to our marriage. He can't afford to maintain our home. With some lifestyle adjustments, I probably can. The plan would be for him to move out. You're right though, I probably need legal counsel first.
DS is in counseling and has been for a while. Unfortunately, it's really slow going because he's not really talking honestly to anyone. I informed him that he would be attending 3 ala-teen meetings. If he doesn't like it, he can quit after 3. Or, he can quit sooner if he starts celebrate recovery (teen version) at our church. DD will be attending with him so that should help and I will be in al-anon one room over. DD's not keen on going but her counselor will support me in it. DS's counselor has already discussed it with him which is probably why he's not arguing with me even though he doesn't want to go (as opposed to DD who is arguing with me over it.)