There was a time , that all those hurtful words, out of XA really hurt me.
The fact of the matter, he was in a blackout state and NEVER remembered saying any of the foul, nasty, cruel words. The sober guy I so deeply cared for would never talk like that. ( I made excuses for him.)
It actually took me two years to figure out the sober guy and the nasty drunk guy were the SAME PERSON.
I understand how this can take it's toll our your well being.
Doesn't matter if they do not remember, doesn't matter if they are sorry, doesn't matter that they are trying to be the best spouse/partner, there really comes a point where they go to far, and sorry cannot fix/change the outcome.
There is no way to erase those unacceptable words from your mind.
I had to make the painful choice to not allow/accept his drunk mouth rants.
His ugly belonged to him, I could not let it define ME.