GerandTwine

MB,

The Beast can't breath. IT uses your breathing to stay alive and that can't be helped, but it's not a problem in AVRT.

It sounds to me like your just surprised at your own courage and resolve with your present life and its uncertainties. Of course, it's your Beast that wants you to believe your surprise at your own strength and maturity is a horrible anxiety that can be evaporated with buying, opening, smelling, chewing, and swallowing food due to the sensation of hunger emanating from the stomach. When I think about it, it seems I actually 'feel' my hunger in my mouth, tongue, and stomach - a desire for taste and a filling satiation.

I know for me, if I were to tell myself eating was some sort of avoidance mechanism, I know by the time I purchased, opened, smelled, chewed and took that first swallow, the feeling I was trying to avoid would already be long gone. And how much stomach satiation would I have attained by that time. ZERO. My stomach would still be empty. The first bite would only be in my esophagus and I'd already be wallowing in all the pleasures of pigging out. No more anxiety. No food in stomach. That proves the Beast lie that I need food in my stomach to end anxiety. The real reason I like to pig out? I like to pig out! Of course, AVRT and a Big Plan can end that if I don't want to do it any more which is what this thread is all about.

My Beast used to love to take advantage of life's uncertainties with me. Now it's basically dead, and it's pretty easy to be optimistic even with all of life's uncertainties. I now know when I'm going through something new that has elements of conflict, I will definitely learn something useful, and it may lead to hitherto unknown opportunity down the road.

All the best,

GT