I did a so called intervention with my husband 3 months after we married. I went into the marriage so wet behind the ears I almost drowned. lol Never suspected it and our first 3 months married, I swore would have been our County's fastest divorce.
That monster came out of no where. I was like WTH just happened?!
It was me and his son. I called him and told him, I think your dad is in deep doo. We got together and talked with hubby and all went surprisingly well. He sobered up. He wasn't an ass. He never is when he gets sober. He does the withdrawl and it's like it never happened. Very quiet, pleasant man to be around. He went 8 months and here comes summer time and it was all over. The lies started happening and he was being evasive. He definitely had a trigger and it was a Harley Davidson Night Train. That bike put a pit in my stomach every summer since that one.
Well, he didn't wreck it that year. Once he started, he wouldn't slow down. His son wouldn't have the talk again. He wouldn't go to inpatient. He wouldn't do out patient. He wouldn't go to counseling. He just drank.
Then, in April of this year, he detoxed home alone again. He said he'd never do it again. He sought counseling for awhile and by June, he was back to riding the bike plastered. In July, he totaled it. He was severely injured. He got out of the hospital and drank some more. Wouldn't go to rehab. Wouldn't go to out patient. Never went back to his counselor. His son was done. I just let it all go. Couldn't do anymore for him.
He finally stopped on his own. He caused himself too much pain. People scoff that he's not going to rehab. He's not in a program. He's not doing this that or the other. But he did live 20 years sober that has been confirmed by soooooo many friends and family so it is possible that he can do it. And to be honest... it's his damn fight not mine. Who the hell am I to tell him what's best for him?
When he's done, he'll be done.