bmf1978

I recently married an alcoholic. Please - no comments about what a big mistake that was. I went in with my eyes wide open and accept the consequences. Shortly before our wedding, he completed an outpatient rehab program. During the program, the longest he remained sober was 30days. He continues to struggle, especially on weekends. He is completely opposed to the idea of inpatient rehab, primarily due to his fear that his career in finance will be affected. His family and I are discussing the idea of an intervention with the goal of inpatient rehab. I am terrified of ambushing him - especially with the timing...his birthday is this weekend, and Christmas. He tends to feel attacked, unloved, etc....and I know that he will be devastated. I also feel that inpatient is his only hope. But I wonder about the intervention and if it will do more harm than good. I'm inclined to think that he will feel that we are ganging up on him and trying to get rid of him, our problem. His father, with whom he was very close, committed suicide three years ago. Around the same time, his ex wife divorced him. That is when his drinking began to spiral out of control. (Of course, I realize he already had the predisposition.) I worry so much about his fragility. Is the intervention necessary? Thank you. And again, I don't want to hear that I shouldn't be with him. I realize that I'm free to leave the relationship when I choose. And I love this wonderful man with all of my heart.