I was worn out and shocked by the constant abuse.
Yeah. I felt that too, and when I got away from it I was just too numb to do more than go through the motions for awhile.
I was an exchange student in HS (France) and I totally feel you about learning a language and assimilating. I can't imagine looking for work on top of that. I had enough on my hands with school. You'll get there, though. With the language thing, it's sort of like an "AHA" moment with that too. One day you're struggling to get on with the basics, then you wake up and realized you were dreaming in another language.
I follow your posts and am always rooting for you, even if I don't comment. Sounds like you're doing much better. Thanks for posting, sending lots of positive energy your way!