Originally Posted by
DayDreamer33 
Honesty helps a lot. Im the type to analyze everything and am usually 100 percent honest with myself. always in search for truth. I am a little astonished to find out that I had mentally told myself I am not. "Its just a little problem" i had thought. But these last few days, knowing that I wont be able to reward (cant believe i was actually mentally using that word even) myself on the weekends for making it through the week, I came to realize I am very wrong. Im not just waiting a week. or even two.
I think this may be a bit harder than i thought, especially when i go to Puerto Rico with the swim team and everyone goes to bars and gets blasted out of their minds and i have to sit there sober and alone.
I can believe you used the word "reward" for drinking. Most of us did that every weekend. I know it's hard to fathom now but you can definitely enjoy life without it. I drank for the same reasons as you. The inability to form strong emotional bonds sober was a big one, I am just learning how to do this. Don't think of it as forever just try to make it through the next weekend at first and notice how much better it feels to wake up without any guilt and shame from the night before.