I am almost thoroughly disgusted. I am now on day 49, after many years of sobriety, followed by relapses. Even though my husband (of 15 years) watched me actually detox this time...which was HORRIBLE (never happened before)...he still drinks. Now, I understand that I can not control him. Only myself.He married me when I was sober and had been for years. He has always drank...beer only...once in a while, a tequila shot with beer. I have seen him drunk only about 3 times in 15 years. When I stopped drinking this time, he cut waaaaaaay back on his beers, and agreed not to keep them in the house. (Although I have always hated beer, during this last relapse I was drinking it from sunup to sundown). During the last week I have come home or ended the day when he finished working in his "shop" in the garage (we are retired)...only to find him almost smashed. His eyes are red, he is slurring his words and the night before last he fell asleep (passed out?) following dinner at 6:45 pm. I talked to him (in the morning when he was sober) about how much he is drinking...and he said "duly noted". THEN, just yesterday, it happened again!
I am staying sober! I don't expect him to be....but, come on! Yet, somehow I feel that I am "calling the kettle black", after being a black out drunk for the past 3 years.....It is just such a "turn off" and lately can't stand to be around him when he is like this....but I love him dearly.....just had to vent.