Originally Posted by
KeepinItReal 
I am a long time county jail visitor. Sad but true. My husband has always said he would never let me go to jail if he could have prevented it. I know he would do time for things I'm EQUALLY guilty of.
I count my blessings and lucky stars I have not been incarcerated.
Its good your keeping your peace. One day at a time. That's all. I did one day .... at a time and still do. Four years later I'm sober, have my own place, car, pay my bills, hold a job and have self respect and love for myself. Those one days add up. Keep it up!
You shouldn't have gone to jail. He was unlucky and got caught. He shouldn't have been buying dope. Period.
It seems like some type of honor system with them doesn't it? I heard a few stories in the waiting room and their men had done the same. Now you say your husband is the same way.
I have days where I'm ok, days where I am not. It really does have to be one day at a time. I did a check for the amount of time online. I wanted a date, a countdown. The minimum with good time would be somewhere around December 2015. the maximum would be somewhere around October 2016. It is all unknown of course before sentencing in January, and even more unknown because he could get caught up inside and never come out. ever. It happens all the time.
I just cannot wrap my head around that. He quacks that it could only be six months to a year but I don't see how he could swing that.
I cant keep my focus on him. I need to stay on me. I need to be ok whether he is here or not whether he ever comes home or not. I will never ever be ok if I lay in bed crying that it is my fault that this happened. I do not know why god showed me grace that day. I just don't know...
I am battling fear more than anything. I have so much fear. I have never felt it before. I don't know why... what have I to be afraid of? losing him I guess. losing him to the system, losing him to prison forever... I tell myself I never really had him to begin with. It was all about drugs, but somehow, someway... I doubt that. Letting go is hard to do. I think that is why God has always ripped him out of my hands, and I'm left here kicking and screaming in my codependency like a 3 year old.