buf... yeah, I've felt the same for too long... Now I feel ashamed, and I ave to fight every day to not have a drink (failing miserably most of the times...). Try to quit as soon as you can, 'cause it's not funny... Losing friends and family is not funny, your mother being told that her daughter went to class drunk isn't funny, and feeling embarrassed, ashamed and completely out of control, is definitely a pain....
But great you have decided to take a step and joining this family... I have just started, but the feeling of support is so great (and I am in Spain), that it makes me wanna try again, and -hopefully-, to finally succeed and quit at last....
Congrat for being here!