no offense taken raider. =] everyone has a right to their feelings. I appreciate and respect your honesty.
D told me that our HP put him there for a reason, and to never ever question His will. I know that my HP wouldn't want me to wallow in guilt and sorrow. D told me tonight that his sin was his, and mine is mine. His consequences are his, and mine are mine.
I guess I should have said our dope...
The only way I can ever make amends to my husband is to stay sober, at least that's what he says. when I asked him tonight.
I respect him for not dragging me to jail with him. IDK, maybe he should have, maybe most addicts would for a better plea, but in his own codependency he rescued me. That is something I will never be able to repay. enabling or not, his silence effected me to change. Just like when the preist forgave Jean Valjean for stealing silver from the church in Les Miserables.
I feel nothing but gratitude. Its hard to explain without using a bunch of Christian jargin that D and I banter back and forth a LOT about. I avoid that here, just cuz I know that not everyone believes the same as we do.
I will limit myself to saying once again that husbands in our faith are called to love their wives as Christ loves the human race, and D has failed at this many many many times, but in this one particular season of our lives. He did.