Sukie,
I used to dread holidays... too many hours thinking and thinking!
you need to find hobby for the weekend-holidays.
You must like something!!! to keep you busy!
the more occupied you are the better...
sports great, paint, knit, puzzles...
buy a notebook and write how you feel...
Get some help!
go to AA, Doctors, psychologist,...
read help books...AA, AVRT, urge surging...
Just hold on with time you will get better!!!
keep on with the good work, you are doing great!!!