Hi pc,
Just fyi, you are probably having some ptsd from the incident with your A. Being on high alert, jumpiness, sensitivity to unexpected sounds, nightmares. You just might want to be aware of this if you aren't already and expect this might last for some time.
I had a bad case once from surviving a violent incident with a stranger. It really changed me. I get it now from AH's abuse. Makes it hard to do anything sometimes but it helps me to recognize when I am experiencing symptoms.
When AH was violent with me and took off, I was really worried about him, just like you are worried about your A. I thought he had gone crazy and might harm himself.
He didn't. That was me unable to stop being a caregiver. He went right into lying and denying. I was the one I needed to worry about!
So you, too. Give your full concern and care to the one who needs and deserves it right now. You.