I agree with the others, wpainter, particularly Mecanix. Ugly inside usually means ugly outside too. You were obviously being polite, not pigheaded, and trying to deflect what, in my opinion, are personal matters that no one has any business confronting you with. Especially a stranger. Especially over Thanksgiving dinner. You were the bigger person here.
It's her issue, not yours. Let it go at that. It might have served a higher purpose you're not seeing. She got that rage out on you (someone who can handle it) when she may have attacked someone else who couldn't. Or worse.
Happy Thanksgiving and I, for one, think you're a damn good husband!