Originally Posted by
DoubleDragons 
I think deep down I want it to be forever too, Bilr, and I am definitely moving in that direction. The more sobriety seems more my norm (and certainly, no one can deny the benefits to sobriety), the more I think my mind gets used to the fact that I will never drink alcohol again and I am coming closer to really letting it sink in that not drinking alcohol really isn't a sacrifice. I wish I could be as steadfast as you seem to be, but I am honestly just not there yet.
It isn't always as easy as I make it seem. Some days are better than others. It's just that I'm realizing that being in different moods is normal. It is okay to be in a grumpy mood once in a while. I am also trying to disassociate negative things that happen, or being in a bad mood, with drinking.
I get that you don't think you're there yet. You did do a really good thing over the summer and only drank on weekends. I could never have committed to that even on a good week. I enjoyed the buzz of liquor way too much. The funny thing was that I drank the same amount every night, and didn't let myself go over that. I guess that's why I didn't justify that I was a full blown alcoholic, but I am/was/am? I never savored the taste of anything I drank like wine drinkers seem to, so that might be part of it.