CD....I can sooooo relate...especially today. We just returned after SUCH a relaxing day at the beach. I drank water/iced tea during the beach day, and my husband drank beer. While we were sitting on the patio, sun going down, I said, "I really would like a glass of wine right now"....It just felt so "right" at the time....to be sipping a drink in the tropics, while the sun is setting...Romanticizing the drink....BUT...I was able to "talk the drink through" with my husband (who, as I have said before) married me when I was sober. Although, like DD...he loves me to death, and if I asked him to go get me some wine, I think he would. I know, for me, I definitely was "planning" my relapses...one time, I even had a therapist "call me out" on it. I didn't realize I was doing it...but again, I think that DEEP DOWN I want to be able to drink like a "normal" person. Just isn't in the cards for me....Chin up, CD....you can start your day over any time
Glad you're back! Hugs!