Originally Posted by
anyistoomuch 
Honestly - this would p*ss me off to no end. First she guilts you because you don't visit, but then she tells you you aren't welcome because you will put a damper on their boozing fun. Sounds just like my irish catholic mom and so many others I know of - they love jerking around the feelings of their daughters (sons seem to get a pass at this). (If you are a son...then I am wrong on that point - but not the irish catholic thing...
I told my mother once in a fit of anger that I need her in my life like I need a da*n two-by-four swung at my face. I told her that if she didn't start treating me better, I would be GONE GONE GONE because I don't have people in my life who I allow to treat me like sh*t, I don't care who the he*l she is. Then I told her she can call me for a blood transfusion or a kidney, but nothing else because I didn't want to talk to her anymore! She starting thinking before she said things and stopped taking me for granted - for a little while because she is a drinker and takes sleeping pills and seems to forget things.
Sorry for my rant here - this post clearly touched a nerve.
Oh boy do I feel you on this one! And yes, my brother always gets a pass even though he has been an addict since basically the day he left diapers (I am only exaggerating slightly here) AND a thief.
I have lashed out on my mother that way a few times too and, admittedly, it felt damn good in the moment. Guilt is such a nasty, corrosive thing. I have done years of therapy and self-help books, meditation, etc., to try to get that trigger out of my soul. I am a lot, LOT, better than I used to be but, obviously, it is still there. One of those guilt-inducing comments from her and all of my Zen goes right into the toilet.
But she is also an alcoholic. And my mother. I have learned that we can't necessarily choose our parents but we can choose how we react to them. I am getting better but, on nights like the other one, I want to fly through the phone and strangle her a$$.
So, yeah, completely and totally hear you there, Any.