Hi Guys and thanks so much for your responses, they are all very wise. I love this place for exactly this reason.
Yes, in the end it IS for the better that I am not going. And it is very true that when I was drinking, sober people made me very uncomfortable. As a matter of fact, I don't think I really knew any sober people at the end. Maybe by name, but certainly not by association.
I am sure my mother feels threatened by my sobriety and believes, even if I don't say a word, that I must be judging her and her partner. I just feel bad because she is my mother and my only surviving parent and older. I feel like the relationship should come before the alcohol but, then again, I probably would NOT have felt that way nine months ago about anyone else
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But. Both she and my brother are addicts and the thought of having to spend even 24 hours there is nerve-wracking. I am way too early in my sobriety to spend time around people who drink that much and not be affected. Especially family.
So, yeah, although this hurts, in the long run it probably is the very best possible outcome and I should be thankful.
Thanks again for helping me see this more clearly.