Ptcapote

So I have been stressing and worrying and getting neurotic about going down to FL for the holidays to see my mother and her partner.

Both are big drinkers (although both are what I would have once called 'functional') and, now retired, their social life revolves around going to the little beach bar on the corner and drinking from 4PM to whenever.

My mother has been ambivalent (this is being very diplomatic on my part) about my sobriety. She's an Italian Catholic so guilt-tripping is the currency she trades in but she has run the gamut from being supportive to being threatened and belittling about me getting sober.

A lot of the guilt has been me not coming to visit over the past nine months.

So imagine my surprise when she called the other night and basically told me that I was not invited to Christmas at her house because my sobriety was going to make her and her partner uncomfortable. That they weren't about to change their lifestyles for me and, even if I didn't ask, they'd still feel obligated to entertain me rather than engage in their normal activities. Which, of course, I used to take part in wholeheartedly.

Now I don't know how to feel.

On one hand, I am relieved. On the other, I am pretty hurt and angry.

Anyone else ever had this gem come up on the holidays?

Thanks in advance for any words of wisdom...